Bloom Where You're Planted - How I Got Started Networking When My Twins Were 15 Months Old
This one's for my moms with young kiddos, trying to get their hustle on. And hey, this advice is relevant even if you're a mom who's feeling a bit isolated and just looking to make some other mom friends! Growing up, my mother told me more than once, “Lauren, you have to bloom where you are planted.” You have no idea how often I think about this. It doesn't just apply to finding yourself in brand new settings, but new stages in life. If you read my blog post, The Story of We, The Story of ME, I talked about how my journey with infertility completely reshaped my career choices in life and led me to where I am today as an entrepreneur. Let me tell you, going through difficult life circumstances can be incredibly isolating. Follow that up with finally giving birth to my two miracle babies, which I wouldn't trade for anything, I didn't get out much. Therefore, I hadn't been able to love on my network in a really long time.
In the early days, when I first started growing a business, my twins were 15 months old and I was still very much tied to feeding and nap time routines. Schedules were everything when it came to my ability to survive and thrive as a mom. Yes, I said survive! Because if the babies weren't happy, no body was happy and I was absolutely not going to accomplish any resemblance of work. So, I had to find ways to grow my network in the limited windows of time I had, especially when it came to getting out of the house. How could I meet people and build genuine relationships if I had just a couple hours a day, if I was lucky, when I could get out of the house with my kids in tow? And at that time, my days and weeks were unpredictable. It was difficult to schedule things that may be disrupted by late nap times, diaper blow outs and cranky kiddos. Even the best laid plans could be completely undone at any given moment. My ability to network had to be fluid. At first it was frustrating but then I realized, I had to take my mom's advice and “bloom where I was planted”. If I was going to find a way to work from home around my kids, I had to find a way to successfully build relationships and network around them, as well. Who better to seek out than other moms! I began to think about what would make conversations and meetups easier on me. What types of environments would be most friendly to my situation as a mom to young twins? I needed containment – a safe space for my kids to play while I had conversations and could interact with other adults while also keeping a close watch on my very curious little explorers. I needed convenience – places that were close enough to home that I could get back in time for naps and also ones that easily lend themselves to snack or feeding time. I needed entertainment – my kids needed to be able to have access to toys and/or a play area so they weren't looking directly to me to be their one-woman show!
Sometimes I would get crafty and create busy bags for the kids of the moms who attended my in-home networking events. Here's one of the Christmas crafts I created for them to take home.
It was at this point I started organizing networking play dates. I looked to my online communities, including my fellow moms of multiples, inviting other women looking to network and/or get together to learn more about my company. I would offer to host a my house – a location that was convenient and I knew that I could keep my kids contained and entertained. Because, hello! I had all. The. Things!! Toys, baby gear, a pantry stocked full of kid snacks. And coffee! Let's not forget coffee for the moms. It was the obvious solution. And moms were excited to get out and interact with other moms while letting their kids play in a safe, contained, entertaining environment. Downside – kids make messes and my house would often look like a handful of pint-sized tornadoes ran through it. But, my dog had a field day eating up the crushed corn puffs that were left behind on the floor!
Hosting did mean extra work on my part, so I sought out local places to meet up that offered a similar sense of mom security. Here's what I found. Don't judge me for going all fast food on you, but McDonald's and Chic-Fil-A both offer free Wifi, coffee for moms (do you see a theme here? I live on coffee!), high chairs, kid-friendly food options, and contained play areas.
Reid at a Chic-Fil-A play area during one of my meetups.
Not only do they work great for meet ups, these restaurants are also excellent places to make new connections. I have added new friends to my network at both of these brands, who have later turned into customers or connectors for me. In fact, even now that my kids are 6, I still like to arrange meetups or do some lifestyle networking at both of these places when my kids are not in school.
Other kid-friendly places I loved to network included indoor playgrounds/open gyms, mall play areas, and parks (if they were mostly fenced in!)
Outside of organizing and seeking out kid-friendly networking opportunities, I relied heavily on connecting with with others online through Facebook (at the time). Because my time away from home was really limited, I mastered the ability to build relationships with like-minded people through social media.
I sought out groups that were centered around online networking for businesses but also sought out groups that were geared toward my interests. For example, I absolutely wanted to connect with other moms and mom-owned businesses, especially parents of multiples! Those people spoke my language and completely understood all that goes into raising twins. So I looked for groups that allowed me to connect with other parents of multiples. Not only in my local community, but also on a broader level, seeking online groups in markets I was interested in growing my business.
I also looked for groups that would connect me to people I had things in common with, for example, I enjoy refinishing furniture (in my spare time, ha!). So I found a “Pinterest” themed group on Facebook that I joined. I considered all possibilities – made a list of my hobbies, alumnae affiliations (high school, college, sorority/fraternity), interests, pets, etc and began searching Facebook groups. The goal for me was to add to my Facebook friend list, ultimately growing my online community. Because I wanted to establish relationships and get to know people, I only joined groups that were of the most interest to me.
Evelyn on the slide at Chic-Fil-A.
While my kids were napping or when I could block out 15-20 minutes on social media each day, I would nurture my online network. And wouldn't you know, my community grew and so did my business! I added customers and business partners all because I took the time to figure it out. Instead of feeling stuck in my situation and limited by my ability to not leave the house when I wanted to, I found a way. After all, that's what I was ultimately setting out to do.
As a mom of young kids setting out to grow a business from home, this is how I bloomed. If I can do it, so can you. It's not going to be easy, don't get me wrong. But a solution does exist. It just may mean that you have to throw out the idea of how you thought it should be in order to get it done. At least for now.
